Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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A man did not like this site

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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