What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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