What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

a blond girl walks into a bar

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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