Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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girls basketball

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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you gay?

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Turkey Balls

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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