How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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The Holocaust

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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