roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Women. One of the genders a human can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

thumb_up thumb_down -25

mmm i love marble bumhole

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -25

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops