Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops