How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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