Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

whats red and falls from a tree an apple

Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

your mom is so fat.

Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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