Derp

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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Your mom.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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