Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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