Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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aa

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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