What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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shut up elliot

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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9/11.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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