Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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think twice or at least think

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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gay porn...

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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woman's rights

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do you have a wife?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Women's Rights

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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