What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Microwave

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Sex

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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