What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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