You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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A man walks into a bar

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops