Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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