A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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What is red? A rock painted red

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops