The dewey decimal system

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops