A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Where's the soap?

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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