There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops