Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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THE GAME.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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