Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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