What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Please? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops