Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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1

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops