- Anti Joke

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQOOJDIOOJIOAJWIODJOIAWJDIAJDOINWXIndiopwhenruioewfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCJJJJJJJJJJJJSWKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBU

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops