A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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4 hours later.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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