A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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