Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops