Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops