Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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men

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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3 like an eel

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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I work at jcpenny

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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