Are you a tree

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A black student graduated High School

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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the holocaust

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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