My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Men

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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