Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops