A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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RUN

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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