what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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mark is religion

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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the redsox

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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I work at jcpenny

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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