Why did John get hard? He froze to death

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Knock knock come in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Poop

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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