Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

canadians

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...