Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops