Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Coldpaly is a good band

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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