"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops