What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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it

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops