What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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Abortion.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops