A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

no pun intended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops