What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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A car walks into a bar.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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