You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

Knock knock Shut up

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

The Princess is in another castle

So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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