What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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