Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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