roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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gay pom...

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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AIDS

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david poredos

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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