whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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