"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

There is no joke here, stop reading.

What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

make me a sandwich! what kind?

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

Why did the old man die? He was old.

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...