How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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A gay man watches football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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