Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

Female rights.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

boobs!

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

nothing

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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